Chapter 5 - THE WORDS HE NEVER MEANT
“I did say something about the photographs.”
Luca spoke so quietly that several guests leaned forward to hear him.
Teresa looked at him.
Her hand was resting beside Antonio's pocket watch.
“What did you say, sweetheart?”
Luca took a breath.
“Last Christmas, Vanessa wanted to have some engagement photographs taken here.”
Vanessa nodded.
“That's right.”
“She suggested using the family sitting room. I said I didn't want Dad's portrait in the background of every picture.”
Teresa's face fell.
“Oh.”
Luca immediately reached for her hand.
“Mom, listen to the rest.”
She nodded.
“I wasn't trying to get rid of Dad's pictures. I just wanted some photographs of Vanessa and me that weren't about losing him.”
Vanessa looked relieved.
“That's exactly what I've been trying to explain.”
But Luca shook his head.
“No. I wasn't asking you to remove his belongings.”
“You said you needed to move forward.”
“I did.”
“And that's what I was trying to help you do.”
He looked at the watch.
“By putting something Dad wanted me to have in a donation box?”
Vanessa fell silent.
Teresa withdrew her hand.
“Perhaps I misunderstood everything.”
Luca turned toward her.
“No, Mom. You were told things that weren't true.”
“But you really did feel overwhelmed by the memories.”
He hesitated.
That hesitation hurt her more than a quick answer would have.
Finally, he nodded.
“Sometimes.”
Teresa looked down.
“I never knew.”
Luca rubbed his forehead.
“After Dad died, I couldn't stand walking into the dining room and seeing his empty chair.”
His voice grew rough.
“I'd come home and hear you playing that recording. Sometimes I'd turn around and leave because I couldn't bear hearing him.”
I saw Teresa's expression change.
“You never told me that.”
“I know.”
“I thought you were busy.”
“I wanted you to think I was busy.”
For a moment, neither spoke.
Then Teresa whispered, “Oh, Luca.”
He looked ashamed.
“I handled it badly.”
She reached for his hand.
“I wish you'd told me.”
“I wish I had, too.”
Vanessa stepped closer.
“Do you see why I thought changing things might help?”
Luca looked at her.
“Yes. I can understand wanting something new.”
Her shoulders relaxed.
“But I cannot understand why you decided my mother had to lose what she loved.”
Vanessa's expression tightened again.
“You don't know what it's been like trying to find my place here.”
Teresa looked up.
“What do you mean, dear?”
Vanessa pressed her lips together.
“When I first came here, everyone already knew exactly how everything should be.”
She gestured toward the table.
“Antonio liked the white roses. Antonio always sat near the window. Antonio hated formal dinners.”
Teresa lowered her eyes.
“He did hate formal dinners.”
“And every time I suggested something different, somebody told me how Antonio used to do it.”
Nobody answered.
Because there was some truth in that.
I remembered last Easter, when Vanessa suggested ordering dessert from a bakery.
Teresa had said Antonio always preferred homemade pecan pie.
Vanessa had smiled politely.
Then she'd spent the rest of the evening barely speaking.
I hadn't understood it at the time.
Now I did.
“Vanessa,” Teresa said gently, “I didn't know those stories made you uncomfortable.”
Vanessa looked surprised.
“You never noticed?”
Teresa shook her head.
“I thought I was sharing our family with you.”
For a moment, Vanessa's expression softened.
Then she looked away.
Luca leaned forward.
“That's what you should have told us.”
“I tried.”
“You told me you wanted different decorations. You never told me you felt unwelcome.”
“Because I didn't want to sound jealous of a dead man.”
The words hung between them.
Teresa looked toward Antonio's photograph.
Then she said something I hadn't expected.
“I suppose I could have asked what traditions you wanted to bring into the family.”
Vanessa looked at her.
Teresa continued.
“Perhaps I spent too much time telling you what we used to do.”
Luca opened his mouth.
But his mother gently shook her head.
“It's all right, sweetheart. I can admit that.”
She looked at Vanessa.
“I'm sorry if I made you feel there wasn't room for you.”
For several seconds, Vanessa said nothing.
Then she whispered, “Thank you.”
I thought perhaps that would be the moment she finally admitted what she'd done.
But Teresa added, “You could have told me. I would have listened.”
Vanessa's eyes moved toward the broken cassette.
Her face hardened.
“I did tell you I wanted us to stop living in the past.”
Teresa nodded sadly.
“Yes. And I thought I had to give up my memories to make you comfortable.”
Vanessa looked away.
Luca picked up the pocket watch.
“I should have made more room for both of you.”
He looked at Teresa.
“I should have talked to you instead of hiding from how much I missed Dad.”
Then he faced Vanessa.
“And I should have listened when you said you felt like an outsider.”
Her eyes filled.
“But neither mistake gave you the right to punish my mother.”
Vanessa rubbed her forehead.
“I wasn't punishing her.”
I felt Teresa's hand close around mine.
She had reached toward me without thinking.
I held it.
Luca noticed the gesture.
“Emily,” he said, “did Vanessa threaten your job?”
My stomach tightened.
Vanessa immediately turned.
“This is ridiculous.”
Luca waited.
I thought about the rent I owed at the end of the month.
About how difficult it had been finding steady work.
Then I remembered Teresa trying to wind the broken cassette around her fingers.
“Yes, sir.”
Vanessa stared at me.
“Emily—”
“She told me to say Mrs. Moretti broke the machine. She said I should remember who approved the staff schedule.”
Luca's jaw tightened.
He turned toward Mrs. Carter.
“Emily's position is secure. Nobody is to change that because she told the truth.”
Mrs. Carter nodded.
“Yes, sir.”
Teresa squeezed my hand.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
Vanessa looked defeated.
But then Teresa said, “There's another thing I should tell you, Luca.”
He turned immediately.
“What is it, Mom?”
She glanced toward the wedding photograph samples resting among the table decorations.
“I told Vanessa I wouldn't be upset if you didn't want me at the ceremony.”
Luca frowned.
“What are you talking about?”
May you like
Teresa's eyes filled.
“She told me it might be better if I stayed home on your wedding day.”
