Chapter 5 - The Words She Wouldn't Let Him Say
“Were you trying to shorten his speech, or hide what happened to him?”
Vanessa looked at the index cards.
Then she looked at the guests.
For once, she didn't immediately defend herself.
“I wanted the ceremony to feel joyful,” she finally said.
Luca waited.
“Your father talking about his stroke in front of two hundred people isn't exactly how I imagined our wedding.”
Frank flinched.
I watched him fold his trembling hands beneath the table again.
Luca noticed.
“Dad, keep your hands where you're comfortable.”
Frank brought them back onto his lap.
Vanessa sighed.
“Luca, please understand. I wasn't trying to erase what he's been through.”
“You crossed out every sentence mentioning it.”
“Because I thought people would feel sorry for him.”
Frank looked up.
“People already feel sorry for me, sweetheart.”
Vanessa's expression softened.
“Frank—”
“But I don't want pity.”
He touched the speech cards.
“I wanted to tell them what my son did for me.”
Luca swallowed.
The old man continued.
“When I came home from the hospital, Luca came over every morning before work.”
I hadn't known that.
Frank smiled faintly.
“He made terrible coffee. And he kept forgetting I couldn't button my shirt with this hand.”
Luca laughed through his tears.
“You complained about my coffee every day.”
“It was awful.”
Frank's smile faded.
“But he kept coming.”
Luca bowed his head.
For several seconds, nobody spoke.
Then Frank looked toward Vanessa.
“That's what my speech was about.”
She stared at him.
“Not the stroke?”
“Not really.”
He looked at his son.
“It was about being loved when you're not much fun to take care of.”
A woman near the windows wiped her cheeks.
Vanessa looked down.
I wondered whether she'd ever understood what those cards meant.
To her, they were four minutes of potentially uncomfortable wedding entertainment.
To Frank, they were proof that his illness hadn't taken away everything he had to give his son.
Luca held out the cards.
“Dad, do you want to read any of it tonight?”
Frank looked around the table.
Thirty faces turned toward him.
His breathing changed.
“I don't know.”
“You don't have to.”
“I want to.”
Luca waited.
Frank picked up the first card.
His right hand trembled.
He tried holding it with his left, but the small writing was difficult to follow.
He cleared his throat.
“Ladies and gentlemen…”
His voice caught.
He tried again.
“Ladies and…”
The card slipped onto the table.
Frank shut his eyes.
“I'm sorry.”
Vanessa shifted in her chair.
I could almost hear the argument forming before she spoke.
But Luca didn't rush to pick up the card.
Instead, he leaned closer.
“Dad, would you like me to hold it?”
Frank nodded.
Luca picked it up.
“Want to start again?”
“Not with everyone staring.”
Luca looked around the room.
“Then we won't.”
He placed the cards beside Frank's plate.
“Whenever you're ready, I'll listen.”
Something changed in the old man's face.
For the first time, he seemed to believe he was allowed to choose.
Vanessa folded her arms.
“I wish you'd given me that same consideration.”
Luca turned toward her.
“What do you mean?”
“I've spent six months organizing everything. Every appointment, every guest, every arrangement. You told me to handle it because you were too busy.”
“That was wrong of me.”
She blinked.
He continued.
“I should have been more involved. I left too much on your shoulders.”
I was surprised.
Vanessa seemed surprised, too.
“But that doesn't explain why you told my father I didn't want him there.”
Her expression hardened.
“You don't understand what it's been like.”
“Then tell me.”
She looked at Frank.
Then at the unfinished meal.
“When we first started planning, you talked about our honeymoon. About finally having time together.”
Luca listened.
“Then your father got worse for a few weeks. Every evening became about medications, appointments, and whether he'd eaten properly.”
Frank looked down.
Vanessa's voice grew smaller.
“I felt like our wedding was becoming another thing everyone had to survive.”
Nobody interrupted.
Even I could understand the loneliness beneath her anger.
But understanding it didn't make what she'd done right.
Luca spoke carefully.
“You should have told me you were struggling.”
“I did.”
“You told me you hated the arrangements.”
“Because I didn't know how to say I felt like I was losing you.”
Luca's face softened.
Then he looked at his father.
“Dad, have I made you feel like our lives have to stop because you're recovering?”
Frank shook his head.
“No.”
“Tell me the truth.”
Frank hesitated.
“Sometimes you worry too much.”
Luca nodded.
“I probably do.”
“I still like doing things for myself.”
“I know.”
“And I still like going to weddings.”
The small smile he gave his son almost broke me.
Vanessa looked close to crying.
For a moment, I thought she might apologize.
Instead, she whispered, “I wanted one day where your father didn't come first.”
Luca looked at her for a long time.
“My father isn't competing with you.”
“You don't understand.”
“Then help me understand why you made him believe I was ashamed of him.”
She couldn't answer.
Frank suddenly touched his son's sleeve.
“Luca, please.”
“What is it, Dad?”
“Don't make a decision about your marriage tonight just because I'm upset.”
Luca turned.
“Dad—”
“I mean it.”
Frank looked at Vanessa.
“She made a terrible mistake. But you loved her before tonight.”
Vanessa began crying quietly.
The kindness seemed to hurt her more than anger would have.
Frank continued.
“I don't want to be the reason you lose somebody.”
Luca knelt beside his father's chair.
“You aren't responsible for what happens between us.”
Frank nodded.
But he still looked frightened.
Then Luca reached for the speech cards.
As he gathered them, his eyes moved toward his father's waistcoat.
“Dad?”
“Yes?”
“Where's your pocket watch?”
Frank went still.
The old man always carried a silver pocket watch Elena had given him on their thirtieth wedding anniversary.
He'd once told me it was the only gift he'd never forgotten to bring home.
Tonight, the little chain was missing.
Frank looked at Vanessa.
“I gave it to her.”
Luca frowned.
“Why?”
Frank's voice broke.
“She said if I couldn't be at the wedding, she'd put it in your hand before you said your vows.”
He swallowed.
“So a little part of your mother and me could still be there.”
Luca turned slowly toward Vanessa.
“Where is my mother's watch?”
Vanessa's face drained of color.
May you like
And when she finally answered, her voice was barely audible.
“I was hoping you wouldn't ask about that tonight.”
